Sibling rivalry is considered a normal part of family life. Do your children fight, bicker and argue all the time? Do you find yourself interfering often and acting like a referee? How did you handle the last sibling incident? Ever question whether one of your children is bullying the other? Do you want to raise children who get along well and become life long friends?
This episode comes with a useful PDF that will help you solidify your knowledge. It comes with everything you need so that you can skip the note taking. Yes, I’m giving you a homework assignment:) But don’t worry, there is no grading.
Download the worksheet for this episode below.
Highlights
- Interfere or ignore?
- How to be fair not equal?
- Sibling rivalry or sibling abuse?
- How to help kids to resolve their conflicts peacefully
- Why family hierarchy is key
- and so much more
About my co-host
Resources and links
Self-Compassion Meditation for Imperfect Families
Books for parents
- Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlis
- Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life, Dr. Laura Markham
- How to Be a Happier Parent by KJ Dell’Antonia
Books for children
I Love You the Purplest, by Barbara Joosse. Ages 4-adult. Two brothers compete for their mom’s attention and love. She shows them she loves each of them for their special selves.
You’re All My Favorites, by Sam McBratney. Ages 2-5. Mommy and Daddy Bear convince three worried cubs that there’s plenty of love to go around.
Do Like Kyla, by Angela Johnson. Ages 4-9. A younger sister wants to do everything like her older sister.
Sheila Rae’s Peppermint Stick, by Kevin Henkes. Preschool. Sheila Rae taunts and torments her little sister and refuses to share her peppermint stick. Has a win-win ending.
Previous podcast episodes
Sibling Rivalry
Here is what you can do step by step:
● Be neutral, don’t take sides.
● Don’t ask questions, such as “Who did it? ”
● Listen. Allow each child to express themselves. Listen more.
● Validate.
● Focus on skill-building.
● Help children elicit ideas for problem solving (they are very clever).
Remember, in many cases you are a passive facilitator. NOT an active problem solver. A good question to ask is, who has the problem? If it is NOT your problem, don’t make it yours. Your children need your help. Coach them to navigate the bump.
Refrain from using evaluative statements such as, “That wasn’t nice!”
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With gratitude,
Anna
