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How to Ask for What You Need in a Relationship with Yvette Erasmus

Do you feel lonely, unseen and unheard in your intimate relationship? 

Asking for what you need skillfully, mindfully and compassionately from your partner not only will improve your communication but also fortify your relationship.

Having unmet needs can yield to a build up of anger, bitterness and resentment.

I have an incredible episode for you with a returning guest whom I absolutely adore and who is simply amazing and I’m positive you’re gonna love this conversation. 

Last year I did an episode called When Your Needs Are Not Met with Yvette Erasmus. It’s episode 262 and it was in the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the year and it generated a lot of response. 

I invited Yvette back! 

Some key points

  • What to do when you are growing and changing and your partner isn’t 
  • Do you feel like you have grown apart to the degree that your values are no longer aligned? 
  • When you crave emotional connection, nourishment and intimacy but feel alone and lonely in your relationship 
  • When to DIY your relationship issues and when to seek out professional help
  • How to communicate your needs without coming off as needy, clingy or desperate 
  • Why we transfer our chronically unmet needs onto our partner and how it’s not their job to heal your childhood wounds and the same is true for you. If that can happen, it’s a gift. 

When we say yes in a relationship but we mean no, both people pay a price. ”

It all begins by shifting our old lens of domination model of what’s wrong? Into a relational model-what will help?

Yvette demonstrates so skillfully and beautifully the how-to of communicating your needs, she gives us scripts and formulas. Listen, take notes and be sure to put it into practice. 

I hope this episode will help you find your voice, speak your truth, ask for what you need without the old, unhelpful strategies and build deeply connected, fulfilling and life-affirming relationships. 

 

About my guest

Dr. Yvette Erasmus is a psychologist, teacher and consultant, specializing in transformative learning. A sought after relational-intelligence expert with over 3 decades of real-world experience in human transformation, healing, growth and learning, Dr. Erasmus helps us embrace and enjoy our differences, while staying grounded in our fundamental unity. Her work is dedicated to bridging differences, and to bringing whatever is divided and fragmented back into wholeness, integrity and harmony.

Mentioned links and resources

  • Yvette’s website
  • Yvette’s YouTube Channel
  • Should I Stay or Should I Go mini video series
  • Follow Yvette on Instagram
  • Download the Universal Human Needs list
  • Relationship Zones quick guide 
  • Top 10 Episodes AuthenticParenting of 2021

Other episodes you may enjoy

  • 262: When Your Needs Are Not Me with Yvette Erasmus, PsyD
  • 216: Childhood Emotional Neglect with Jonice Webb, PhD
  • 113: Signs of Childhood Trauma in Adults with Laura Regan
  • 102: How To Communicate Your Needs in a Relationship with Max Rivers
  • 68: Is Your Relationship Toxic? with Neil Satin

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: communication, feelings, needs, non violent communication, NVC, relationship, Yvette Erasmus

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Support for Authentic Parenting partly comes from listeners like you. We rely on your kind  donations to keep bringing you expert insights and valuable content every week. To make a one-time or monthly donation, click HERE. Thank you for your contribution!

 

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