Co-regulation is a wonderful process through which we help another human calm down and regulate their own emotions. It’s a lifelong process. As humans we are wired for connection. Our nervous-systems are social structures. Children need it and adults need it too. It is one of the most important life skills and we can teach our children how to regulate their emotions through co-regulation. But it’s easier said then done.
In order for the parent to help the child to sooth and get regulated, the parent has to be in a regulated state. It’s not what we do, it’s how we are.
Our nervous-systems talk to each other. In this episode we took a deep dive into understanding co-regulation.
Some key points:
- Myths around co-regulation
- Co-regulation doesn’t mean perfection
- Do’s and don’ts of co-regulation
About my guest
Dr. Mona Delahooke is a clinical child psychologist with a mission of reducing children’s suffering, increasing their joy and resilience, and supporting their families. Her paradigm-shifting model offers new understanding of emotional and behavior challenges and aims to enhance children’s development and relationships.
Countless parents have embraced Dr. Delahooke’s best-selling book Beyond Behaviors, which explains that shifting from securing compliance to supporting children’s unspoken, physiological needs can unlock a deeper understanding of behavior, and promote more harmonious, joyful family dynamics. Her latest book, Brain-Body Parenting, outlines a pioneering “bottom-up” approach to parenting that considers the essential role of the entire nervous system.
Resources and links
- Mona’s website
- Connect with her on Facebook
- Follow her on Twitter
- Follow her on Instagram
- Brain-Body Parenting:: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids
- The Still Face Experiment
- Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children’s Behavioral Challenges
- The Harsh Realm of “Gentle Parenting” article in The New Yorker magazine
- The Why of Challenging Behaviors and The How-to of Dealing with Them ($49.99)
- How to Be a Calm Parent ($49.99)
Other episodes you may enjoy
- 281: The Power of Self-Regulation with Sarah McLaughlin
- 267: The Power of Discord with Dr. Ed Tronick
- 289: MInd-Body Tools to Develop Stress Resilience with Rebekkah LaDyne
- 298: The Power of Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Well-Being and Success with Marc Brackett
- 290: Alarmed Aloneness: with Sarah Peyton
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