Parenting is filled with lots of triggers. My guest Michelle Lee, a women’s empowerment coach, shares her powerful story of breaking free from the past, healing from emotional wounds, and learning to love herself.
She had her first baby when she was 14 and went though a private adoption.
“I wanted to give my daughter what I didn’t get from my childhood. ”
She wasn’t always the Mom she is today.
The difference between between being physically present and emotionally present.
“I just wanted to be loved. I didn’t feel loved as a child and I did what I thought what give her love. She sacrificed her body at 14 only to learn that it wasn’t it. She looked for that love in men, in marriage and her children. It was only into her 30‘s she discovered that no one is responsible for making you feel loved. You must love yourself first. Not men, not marriage and definitely not your children.
-Healing is an inside job.
-You can’t give what you didn’t receive.
-The difference between physical presence and emotional
-We need to give our children what they need NOT what we think they need.
“My intentions was to be different than my mom but I ended up repeating my mothers’ mothering.”
When you become a mother you shouldn’t give up your life. You don’t have to sacrifices yourself. You need to find things that make you happy and fulfilled.
“I am not self sacrificing and my presence is of higher quality because I have fed my soul with what gives me joy. ”
We automatically assume and want to give our children what we think they need. Without asking them what they need makes us a self absorbed parent. But that is a sign of unhealed trauma and you can’t see beyond that. Until we heal those traumas, we are bound to repeat those same old patterns.
—when we stop making demands of other people to fill us with something…that’s when we start to heal.
Links and Resources:
Michelle Lee’s Web site: http://thecoachapist.com/
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