New episode day! This one features guest Carla Naumburg, writer, speaker and parent coach. Her latest book, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids, will definitely be a must read 😊 Practical tools to not lose it AND humor! What more could we want ❤️
Losing it looks different for every parent, so you can start with what triggers YOU. Think of a time your reaction was disproportionate to the situation. Notice what it looks like, without judgement, just see it for what it is.
We have all heard of fight, flight, and freeze, Carla uses another one called “freak out” These reactions are very NATURAL and neurological. Sometimes we think in extremes, if I don’t want to freak out then I NEED to be calm, peaceful and happy all the time.
It is OKAY to have strong feelings, and teach your children that behavior has an impact on someone else. Unpleasant feelings are normal and healthy. The key is sharing them in a way that doesn’t show up as out of control.
Do you notice your pre “lose it” moment? Is it short and snappy like Carla? Or wordy and lecturing like Anna Seewald? Can you stop and notice these little tells and see them as a red flag to slow down? Developing this self awareness takes TIME, self compassion and practice, it’s an ongoing process to continue to become aware!
So what CAN we do when we catch ourselves falling into the deep end:
-Calm down, and not just a little, give yourself the time to FULLY decompress
-Apologize. Sometimes the cause of a freak out is US ready to snap over something
-If your child is at fault, or needs a bit or reminding, address that with a conversation and find a strategy for next time
-Look at your trigger, what set you on edge? Not enough sleep, worrying about money, conflict with a family member….. When our body is experiencing stress it puts our neurological system into overdrive
If you’ve had a long, hard week, or difficult moment, what do you need to reset? Likely not more time with your child working your last nerve! Can you knock a stressful task off your list like starting laundry? Maybe 10 minutes of yoga? Watching a funny show with your child? Or utilizing screen time to achieve some quiet and do something for yourself? Think about what helps YOU reset!
Listen in to this episode and let us know your thoughts! ❤️
About my guest
Carla Naumburg, PhD, is a writer, speaker, and parent coach. She is the author of READY, SET, BREATHE: PRACTICING MINDFULNESS WITH YOUR CHILDREN FOR FEWER MELTDOWNS AND A MORE PEACEFUL FAMILY and PARENTING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT: HOW TO STAY FOCUSED ON WHAT REALLY MATTERS. Her latest book, HOW TO STOP LOSING YOUR SH*T WITH YOUR KIDS, is now available for pre-order. Carla lives outside of Boston with her husband, two young daughters, and two totally insane cats.
Resources and links
Pre-order her newest book, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids
Other episodes you may enjoy:
- How To Stop Yelling at Your Kids
- Mindful Parenting in a Messy World
- The Mindful Mother’s Way
- How To Stay C.A.L.M. in The Moment
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